Days I Remember

There are days from a year ago that I remember with complete clarity. It was around this time last year that I "graduated" from my walker to my crutch. It's a day I won't forget. I went to physical therapy and told me to put away the walker and use just one crutch and the emotions just came flooding.
I was excited, it was one step closer in the direction I wanted to go. But oddly enough, I was really scared, that walker had become my livelihood, it took me where I needed to go, provided me the support I needed, I used it to sit on when I got too tired to take another step, it gave me freedom. But, I depended on it, it was this metal, fold up walker with green tennis balls on the front (they helped it not squeak on tile), it was ugly and I hated explaining to people why I had it, but it was mine and I didn't want to let it go, because I didn't know what would come once I did. Inevitably I would fall and walk slower again, I'd feel unstable and get tired more easily, I was excited, but anxious.
I started to use the crutch over the next few days, falling here and twisting on the way down so as not to fall on McKinley or shoes or hit my head on things. I learned how to use it on the stairs and that the arm thing sort of hurts your arm after a while. There were few rough few days, but I made it.
Not long after that I went to Bear Lake for my family's reunion. The PT told me to practice walking in the sand, that the instability of the ground would be good for me. Robbie walked me up and down the beach as with each step I struggled to find my balance.
That family reunion is coming up, so we're headed to Bear Lake soon. Tomorrow I get to walk up and down the beach by myself, I will be able to feel the cold water on my legs instead of the numbness that was there. It may not sound like a lot, but as days pass and bring with them things to remember, I feel like I've accomplished something. I made it. There's a long way to go, but it's worth it.